Dis is me, Eccles

Dis is me, Eccles
Dis is me, Eccles

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Pope forbids "Muslim" food

By Walim Ahdi of the Salafic Herald.

In response to the edict from a Salafi group that Muslims should not eat tomatoes because they are "Christian" food, the Pope has issued an encyclical De Cibo Musulmano, prohibiting Catholics from eating "Muslim" foods.

Tomato

The tomato, food for pious Catholics. Note the sign of the Cross.

Unlike the faithful tomato, which suggests the purely Christian image of the Cross, other foodstuffs have distinctly Muslim connotations.

So today French bakers were up in arms, singing "Allons, enfants de la patisserie," as they learnt that croissants may no longer be consumed by Catholics.

Crescent

Eating this says, "I am a Muslim." Bananas are similarly proscribed.

But less obvious foodstuffs are also on the Pope's "anathema" list.

cake Kaaba

One of these is a cake, the other the Kaaba in Mecca. Can you say which is which?

It is cakes, which often resemble Islamic buildings, that are considered particularly dangerous. This little girl will be getting a strongly-worded letter from her Bishop.

Mosque

A heretical cake in the shape of a mosque. Note the four minarets.

Even concealing your cake is sometimes not enough. Here we see a deliberate attempt to evoke the image of a pious Muslim woman in a burka.

Burka

Easily mistaken for a Muslim woman.

Finally, the owner of this blog may be in deep trouble with Catholics and Muslims alike, since Eccles cakes, no less, often suggest the images of people from Islamic history.

Eccles

Faces, yes. Not the Prophet. Honestly.


Other Christian denominations broadly agree with the Catholic line. As we see below, many Baptists also regard the tomato as a truly sacred fruit.

Pomodoro

A young woman is baptised in tomatoes. (Pomodoro Baptist Church, USA.)

4 comments:

  1. It looks as if Jessica must have missed this one. Perhaps you should give her a quick reminder Mr Eccles.

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  2. Comments is much apprecaited, but we can't expect Jess to write dem all, bruvver/sister Anon.

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    Replies
    1. darling eccles - being allergic to tomatoes, I thought discretion was the better part of valour xx Jess

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  3. This post has made me very hungry indeed.

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