This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday 7 August 2013

Mass for the masses

An organizer of World Youth Day in Rio has apologised for distributing Holy Communion in plastic cups, thereby outraging a number of Catholics who feel that the Mass should be an occasion for reverence.

mass in a cup

"With hindsight, we would have done things differently," explained Dom Pedro d'Alvadorez. "For a start, we should really have used coffee rather than wine. After all, we've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil (it's where the nuts come from), and I am sure that the Holy Father would have been delighted to see us advertise our products in this way."

drinks machine

Dom Pedro and Donna Lucia demonstrate the Mass-o-matTM.

"We advise future World Youth Days to serve pre-consecrated Holy Communion in a food-and-drink machine," he went on. "Who can doubt that Jesus would have been a fan of fast food, if it had existed in His day?"

Fr John Zuhlsdorf, a leading liturgical expert, was unavailable for comment, having collapsed in an apoplectic fit.

Z. drinks coffee

Fr Z. demonstrates the liturgically correct way to drink coffee (rite of Pope Bibit V).

5 comments:

  1. Isn't Holy Communion too traditional for Frankie and Pedro? Isn't it too much of a "Pelagian solution"?

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  2. With WYD in Krakow next year there'll be q'uran kissing; voodoo hen sacrifices and bare-breasted extraordinary wafer distributors.

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  3. There are no mystic monks left to make coffee. They are making sacred beachballs and plastic cups instead, and learning to play the kazoo.

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  4. Or they could have WYD in Poland during Holy Week and serve Paczki on Shrove Tuesday…

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  5. It's very embarrassing having to pick oneself up off the floor in a fit of laughter. How am I to explain this in line a Church, waiting for my coffee? What would Fr. Z say?

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