Dis is me, Eccles

Dis is me, Eccles
Dis is me, Eccles

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Protect the Deacon!

This week we have seen the temporary suspension of the excellent Protect the Pope blog. The truth is that Deacon Nick Donnelly managed to upset a group of heretics, degenerates, people with body odour problems, perverts, atheists, people who put frogs down the necks of nuns, secularists, ACTA members, lovers of clown masses, Freemasons, people who pull the wings off butterflies, people with nasty foot diseases, shed-dwellers, abortionists, Calvary Chapel worshippers, professors, people who wipe their noses on their hands before going up for Mass, Pope-haters, supporters of same-sex "marriage", people with two-metre statues of themselves in their gardens, drunkards, Tablet-readers, fans of Paul Inwood, communists and cat-kickers. And there's supposed to be one sad individual who is all of these things.

Monty Python bishop

"Hello, is that ACTA? We're leaning on the deacon, as you asked us to."

Accordingly, the "Superdeacon" has been asked to observe a period of prayer and reflection. This is bishop-speak for "Look, Nick, a bunch of loonies keeps phoning me up at 4 a.m. to complain. I haven't had a decent night's sleep for weeks. Lie low for a while, there's a good fellow!" Because after all, prayer and reflection is something that good deacons do a lot of anyway. Indeed, it's probably the results of the deacon's prayer and reflection that are proving so embarrassing to the unsaved.

So far the excellent Fr Hunwicke - another thorn in the side of the dissidents - has escaped a similar persecution, and his Mutual Endowment Policy blog continues unscathed; this is probably because it's so intellectual that most of the liberals can't really work out what he's saying, anyway.

Pope Francis

Our patron shows his support for the deacon.

Anyway, we urge all our faithful readers - both of them - to Protect the Deacon!

Addendum: see also what Frere Rabit has to say on the subject.

23 comments:

  1. Darling eccles, we needs a protect the Deacon campaign :) xx Jess

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  2. Dear Herr Eccles,

    Your traditionalistluvvlyblog is also under scrutiny in our Lent clean-up campaign.

    We have silenced Deacon Nick Duffelcoat with his mad ideas about protecting Catholic teaching and Fr Grunwick with his Mutual Entrenchment, who was confusing the faithful by providing intelligent liturgical comment.

    While you may find it fun to play with the “new media”, which can be a helpful tool of evangelisation, they can also be used for un-reflected speech lacking in conformity to the new reality. While some may ask, “who am I to judge?” it is nevertheless my job to judge, to exercise vigilance over these blogs and, where necessary, to intervene.

    When the Daleks arrive to exterminate your blog, please be kind enough to sign the paperwork, in which case your sins of satire will be forgiven.

    Cradinal Gerhard Ludwig Mässtrousers
    Prefect, Sacred Congregation for Settling Scores

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  3. Yes, the good deacon would never have prayed and reflected before - such a novel idea! Do periods of prayer and reflection transform one from a person who is true to the deposit of Faith and the moral law and reason - to a nice person with feelings?

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    Replies
    1. It's all for Deacon Nick's own good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A

      (Idea for the clip 'nicked' from this guy: http://ebougis.wordpress.com/ - I think :) )

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    2. The link isn't live.

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    3. That's odd. Anyway, it's from 'Cool Hand Luke': The Captain's speech: 'What we got here ...'

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  4. When is the Pop going to require bishops to have a time of prayer and reflection?

    They’ve got the silence part down pat. Well, most of them anyway, especially as regards matters of importance… If Fair Trade Coffee and Free Range Hens are part of the Deposit of Faith I must have missed that in Kattyketics.

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  5. Your Eminence

    You do realise that be using the extremely archaic umlauted ä in your surname, that you are directing it to be pronounced "Messtrousers"?

    Which will probably be appropriate if there is a change of papacy any time soon.

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  6. Eccles, you forgot "Thugs, bully-boys, psychopaths, sacked policemen, security guards, sacked security guards, ratialists, Paki-bashers, queer-bashers, Chink-bashers, anybody-bashers, rear Admirals, queer admirals, Vice Admirals, fascists, neo-fascists, crypto-fascists, loyalists, neo-loyalists, crypto-loyalists. With apologies to Reggie Perrin

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  7. This time last year I would have forwarded any news on ACTA direct to Deacon Duffelcoat. I have on this occasion taken the liberty of posting some interesting correspondence myself :

    http://menarelikewine.org/acta-slapped-english-bishops-conference/

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  8. Deacon Frost needs protecting from the Tomb of Dracula before he melts.

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  9. Should we protect Deacon Brodie?

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  10. Small Business Deacon inspires the Spirit of Entrepreneurship, so it does need to be protected, I suppose.

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  11. I enjoy your blog and I am no fan of ACTA but even I found Protect the Pope offensive.

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    Replies
    1. Why read it, then? Do you enjoy scouring the internet for things to stoke your indignation?

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    2. There was nothing in Protect the Pope posts that anyone who loves the truth of Faith and morals would have been offended by.

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    3. I agree Linda. Reading that Blog I got the impression that the main thing the Pope needed protecting from was himself!

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    4. "Why read it, then? Do you enjoy scouring the internet for things to stoke your indignation? "

      Hell yeah! PTP was quite my favourite blog for all the wrong reasons... but it was at least entertaining. It reminded me a bit of UKIP.

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  12. I am shocked to discover the RCC is so hierarchical. Where are we going to learn which nun has been excommunicated by the CDF this week if Deacon Nick doesn't meticulously catalog all the church's internecine strife. Clearly what people want from a religion is for it to appear to be in constant schism - a need Deacon Nick's blog amply fulfils

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    Replies
    1. That's the problem - none of the "nuns" that ought to be declared excommunicate ever are ...

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