Dis is me, Eccles

Dis is me, Eccles
Dis is me, Eccles

Monday, 3 March 2014

QUAERITUR: Is Latin bad for your soul?

Over at the little-known Rorate Caeli blog, they have broken the news that Michael Olson, the bishop of Fort Worth, Texas, has banned the Extraordinary Form of the Latin Mass at Fisher-More College (which is odd, as Fisher and More would have been amazed to see a Mass celebrated in English).

Harry Worth

+Worth.

In his letter, +Worth issues various threats (called "norms"), explaining "I make these norms out of my pastoral solicitude and care for the students of Fisher-More College, as well as for your own soul."

As a well-regarded arbiter of moral issues, I have been asked, "Is Latin bad for your soul?" So here is some definitive advice on the degrees of sinfulness involved.

Latin Soul

Latin or Soul? The great dilemma.

Slightly sinful: using expressions like "e.g.", "i.e.", "Q.E.D." and "R.I.P." in conversation (not realising that they are LATIN). You should certainly mention this at Confession.

Dangerously sinful: deliberately showing off with expressions such as ipso facto or persona non grata. Atone for this by making a pilgrimage on your knees to a holy place such as Fort Worth.

In peril of damnation: attending Mass and using expressions such as Gloria in Excelsis Deo, which God regards as a personal insult. Will probably be excommunicated, just as soon as they've got round to dealing with Enda Kenny.

Damned for all eternity: attending an Extraordinary Form Mass, similar to those celebrated by all Catholics fifty years ago. No hope of being saved!

Pope John XXIII

Pope John XXIII: canonization cancelled after complaints from Bishop Olson.

I hope that helps.

6 comments:

  1. Dear Sir,

    Fabas indulcet fames, "hunger sweetens the beans," is a well-known Latin saying and it is complete rubbish. I planted my beans in October and they have still not ripened, although I am getting increasingly hungry. Latin is unhelpful in explaining the behaviour of beans.

    This totally justifies ACTA's position rejecting Latin and anything Roman.

    Yours etc.,
    Ferdinand Mass-Trousers
    Tunbridge Wells ACTA

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  2. Clearly the sacred Mass of All Ages is a danger to one's soul. The dishonour shown to the Holy Mass in keeping with our ancient liturgical heritage and the Tradition of the Church, is diabolical.

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  3. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...

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  4. As we are wont to remark on these occasions: Rancens ludere music, pueri album. (A cheering and invigorating Latin hymn by that well-known early medieval monastic, Cerasis Indomita.)

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  5. i.a. my orbiter dicta on this matter is pater puerorum parvorum in agris diligenter laborare debet. Sed homo homini lupus which is why Ego vadam ad Missam Latinam......because In Roma, lex est asinus.
    That should be enough for a latae sententiae excommunication.

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  6. Insani isti Americani.

    Salvi Americani non sunt ; ego solus salvus sum.

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