Twitter is not the world - there are rumours that those things walking down the street are also human. If you prick them, do they not bleed? If you tickle them, do they not laugh? If you poison them, do they not die? (If you get into trouble testing this theory, I accept no responsibility.) Still, if the real world is anything like Twitter, there are a lot of very unhappy atheists wandering around at present.
An intellectual giant among atheists, seen in happier times.
The problem is, that there are two big celebrations going on this week:
1. Jesus Christ rising from the dead. Mankind redeemed. Life suddenly has a meaning.
2. Bunny rabbits. Chocolate eggs. Er, that's it. This is what my life has been leading up to.
So if you're stuck at party (2) and you see people at party (1). What do you do? Why you get cross and say things like:
Of course Jesus never existed. Or, if he did exist, his message was "Enjoy yourselves, folks" and he was probably an atheist. Nah nah nah, you never see accounts of the Resurrection written by people who said it didn't happen! Children are brainwashed. Tee, hee, hee, why shouldn't I choose Thor or the (ho, ho, ho) flying spaghetti monster instead?
This is the real alternative to Christianity, but it may be tactless to mention it.
I love that last argument. Suppose you want to go from London to Edinburgh? There are many wrong ways to do this:
1. Take the M23 to Brighton, then drive into the sea.
2. Get on a Circle Line train and go round and round until you are thrown off.
3. Take a United Airlines flight to New York. If you can.
4. Sit in a dark cupboard moaning "Edinburgh doesn't exist."
Since there are 99999 wrong ways to get to Edinburgh, this PROVES that there is no right way. Anyone you see driving up the A1, taking a train at King's Cross, or taking a flight advertised as going to Edinburgh, is just a deluded fool who believes in sky fairies / invisible friends / whatever the latest insult is.
Of course this place doesn't really exist!
For once, Richard Dawkins doesn't seem to have joined the atheists' grayling and gnashing of teeth about Easter. These days his atheism seems to be less obsessive than his dislike of Brexit, Trump, Muslims etc. and advertising some ghastly tour of the States that he is making - perhaps he is having second thoughts in his old age?
Anyway, have a happy Easter, dear grumpy atheists. Remember, this is the choice that faces you:
Peter and John heading for the biggest event in history.
The second-biggest event in history.